This is absolutely brilliant Mili. What a great writer you are! I love the words alarming and immense that you used!
I love you repetition of cried and cried
I love your capital letters BUT NOTHING RESPONDED
Great use of conjunctions – but, and
It was amazing! I have so many questions about what is going to happen next!
Next time try to use some subordinating conjunctions – because, as, since, whilst, when, after
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This is absolutely brilliant Mili. What a great writer you are! I love the words alarming and immense that you used!
I love you repetition of cried and cried
I love your capital letters BUT NOTHING RESPONDED
Great use of conjunctions – but, and
It was amazing! I have so many questions about what is going to happen next!
Next time try to use some subordinating conjunctions – because, as, since, whilst, when, after