Amazing story Mili! Great use of paragraphs and coordinating conjunctions (but, and, nor, or, yet, so).
Next time, try to use some subordinating conjunctions (because, as, if, before, after, whilst, when, since) and fronted adverbials followed by commas to start your sentences (quickly, slowly, in a flash, when i was on the beach, after a few minutes, later that day, out of nowhere, at lunchtime)
That’s really good Mili! I like how you used the word lifted and the context was great! Hope you’re doing alright.
Amazing story Mili! Great use of paragraphs and coordinating conjunctions (but, and, nor, or, yet, so).
Next time, try to use some subordinating conjunctions (because, as, if, before, after, whilst, when, since) and fronted adverbials followed by commas to start your sentences (quickly, slowly, in a flash, when i was on the beach, after a few minutes, later that day, out of nowhere, at lunchtime)
Spelling errors – adventure, creatures, something